Triskaidekaphobia

I don’t know what to say… I hate you for everything that you did to me.
And I hate myself for letting you hurt me.
I gave my all fighting for something that was never there.
I was a fool to believe it all.
For seven years I have been in pain.
Yes, I have endured too much pain.
I had.
But I no longer can.

I cried so many times— over the same reason.
And every time, all I get is a “SORRY” without sincerity.
Yet I accepted and believed everything you said and promised me.

I believed. And just when I was starting to build trust— (again) you fail me.

I was there ready to take your hand… but you never held out yours.
It was a stupid idea to wait and hope that you’ll change—that you will finally see me.
But after all these years, you didn’t.
I guess you never will.

I have tried but you’ve pushed me off the cliff. You killed me.
Now, I don’t know what I have become… because of you and that stupid feeling I HAD for you.
Now I’m numb. I’ve grown too cold to feel the warmth around me.
(Call me Sub-zero— it FITS ME)

I hope you get to read this. I hope you find time to…

(One of the spam mails I get everyday)
I was driving a long way back to the city one day.
So to rest a while, i decided to park along the beachside.
Sitting on a clay rock i noticed two children, a boy and a girl, playing in the sand.
They built a sandcastle by the shore.
And just when they had finished their castle,
a big wave came by and knocked it down to a heap of wet sand.

I was expecting to see them cry seeing their hard work wasted.
But they surprised me.
They ran up the shore away from the water instead, laughing while holding hands,
and sat down to build new one.
Then I came to realize that children has a way of teaching adults important lessons.

All the material things in our lives that we spend so much time and energy earning or creating
are nothing but sandcastles… Sooner or later, the wave will come by to knock it all down.
And when the water washes it all away, only the person who has a hand to hold will be able to laugh.

I hope you find a hand to hold forever. I wish you all the happiness you can find.