my (un)happy heart
The Happy Hearts’ Day is two days away…
And here I am. At home, sick and alone with my unhappy heart. I’ve always tried to be happy. I just can’t be. Everytime I find a reason to be– it slips away easily.
I was reading my journal SEVEN years back. I had the same problem. Hahaha. I’ve always told myself I can do well alone. I’ve made believe I can be happy all by myself. Now I’m not so sure. Hmmm… this is what I call HHD syndrome :p
Well, I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way right now. I just feel so lonely. And staying at home, tired, sick and alone, makes it worse. Plus a friend told me about a date he planned for his special someone. I saw the excitement and love in his eyes. And it hit me. I want to see the same thing in my someone’s eyes… that is if I have one. Unfortunately, I don’t. To make the feeling worse– it’s my choice. Yeah, it’s always been my choice. I’m a coward. Too scared to have my heart broken again. No can can hurt me unless I let them. So I won’t. Pathetic, I know, but that’s what I have in mind and heart right now…
Balentayms day– I hate it! 
By the way, I’ll be attending a wedding this Saturday (two days after HHD)– Gemma’s wedding. I can’t wait to see her in a wedding dress! I can’t wait to see and experience love by simply seeing two people happy on the day they exchange vows. I’m sure it will be a very beautiful celebration of love.
Hmmm… gotta rest now. I’ll be working at 10 
